To Send or Not to Send?

November 30, 2009 · Kathy Wall

I did a floor shift in the afternoon on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. At some point during the shift I received a call from a woman who was very anxious to see a condo in South San Francisco. I told her “no problem!” I’ll meet you at 3:30. I still had a lot to do to get ready for the 14 guests coming to my house the next day, but sales are critical now, so I changed all of my plans and met her and her family at the condo.

This particular condo wasn’t going to work for them, so I told them that I would send them information on other nicer complexes that I thought they might like. On Friday, I did just that. In response, I received the following email:

Dear Kathy,

Thank you for showing us the Mission Road place on Wednesday. I need to let you know that since we spoke, I spoke with my Mother in law who is a realtor, and she is going to represent my parents.

I really appreciate the time you took on our behalf and I apologize for any inconvenience we may have caused you.

Peace and Grace to you.

Sincerely,

(I’ll leave her name out)

Needless to say, I’m really irritated. I am contemplating sending her the following letter and want my reader’s opinions as to whether it is a waste of time.

Dear ________,

While I do appreciate your responding to my email, I feel it is important for you to realize that life for Realtors is very difficult these days and we need all of the business we can get. Consequently, instead of doing the shopping that I needed to do for my family, I completely changed my schedule to spend time with your family. And, clearly, prior to our meeting you already knew that your Mother in law was a Realtor and that you would be using her.

I only ask that, in the future, you take into consideration that Realtors are people, too. I got very excited at the prospect of working with you and your family. I went out of my way to accommodate you and it really stung to find out I was used. I hope that you will think long and hard before doing that to anyone again.

Sincerely,

Kathy Wall

What do you think….Send or don’t send?

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Filed Under Important Thoughts, Real Estate for Buyers and Sellers

Tags: Kathy Wall, mother in law, San Francisco, south san francisco, thanksgiving

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10 Responses to “To Send or Not to Send?”

George Langford on November 30th, 2009 3:29 pm

Don’t send that out! It’s the nature of the Business. Yes, I understand but it happens all the time. Remember that when one door closes another will open. Maybe next time let them know you are moving things around in your day for them and see what they say. Good Luck!

Cheers!
George Langford
Larry Franzella on November 30th, 2009 7:28 pm

I don’t know that if your party had recieve a similar letter previously that the partie’s actions would have been any different. As you point out — I am sure it was the intention to have the mother-in-law represent the parents all along; the mother-in-law was probably shopping for groceries and didn’t want to take the time out of her day to show property.
Claudia Tringale on November 30th, 2009 7:52 pm

Hi Kathy,
I am sorry that this happended to you especially during a special holiday. It does irk me when I hear stories like this one. That’s the risk we always run into though. Since you would not want to work with an unethical client anyway, it would not hurt at all to send the letter — it’s not disrespecful in tone at all. You would be a voice for many good hard-working agents that go through the same scenario day in and day out (that’s for sure!).

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving feast, and wish you a wonderful holiday season!

Best,
Claudia Tringale
Realtor
Sophia Lin on November 30th, 2009 9:15 pm

Hey Kathy,
Sorry that happened to you, but it is the nature of the beast (this business). Did you ask her in the beginning if she was working with an agent? I know a lot of times we don’t ask, but I’m learning more and more to “ALWAYS ASK”! I don’t think you should send the letter, take it as a lesson and move on….

Smiles,
Sophia
Beth Anderson on November 30th, 2009 10:31 pm

I can relate to your story. It has happened to me too. When it comes time to sell the condo the mother in law may not be available to represent the client and may think to call you to represent her so be nice and move on.

It has happened to me that I farmed a couple who told me they had their own Realtor but when they decided to sell their home, they called me to represent them.
mike brown on November 30th, 2009 10:56 pm

Hi Kathy,

Yes send it out, or revise it, and don’t be so nice.

Take care,

Mike Brown
Brian Boisson on December 1st, 2009 9:57 am

Kathy,

I think we’ve all been there too, always a tick-off!

You may want to say in your note that professional, full-time, experienced agents coach their customers to contact them about properties they are interested in and that is the way you operate.

If they decide they need a professional, full-time, and experienced agent to find a home with, you are available for them!

Brian
Michael Darling on December 1st, 2009 10:53 am

Hi Mom,

I personally would not send the letter. At this point I don’t think it would do you any good except to further waste your time.

As George said, “it’s the nature of the business,” and some buyers don’t know, or just don’t care.

Although I don’t always do it either, I think it’s best for all of us to do our best to “pre-qualify” our buyers first before we take the time to work with them. A couple of the questions I try to ask are as follows: 1) Are you currently working with another Realtor? 2) Have you been pre-approved? 3) Why are you buying/selling?

Obviously I know you know all this already, but every time something like this happens, I think it serves as a good reminder for all of us that we need to do this all the time.

I would just put this one past you, and focus your time & energy on the buyers who are going to work with you.

Besides……….Thanksgiving turned out great anyway!

Thanks for sharing!

Mike
Pat Pilster on December 1st, 2009 11:09 am

Hi Kathy…sorry this happen to you….but “The Mother In-Law” was probably busy with her Thanksgiving dinner and couldn’t show the property. Before you even think of getting in the car to show homes…ask the question…Is there a friend or family member that will help you with the sale? It sure saves a lot of running around…but you know this…you just got excited about a possible REAL buyer and forgot. Sending the letter doesn’t do you any good…and you never know…the Mother-in-law may slip on a banana peel (I don’t wish that) and they may need you!!

Best Wishes….Pat
Kathy Wall on December 2nd, 2009 11:27 am

Since writing this article I have received phone calls, personal emails and all of the above terrific comments. Clearly, I touched a sore spot within many Realtors!

So far, it’s running about 50/50 as to whether I should send the letter. In the end, I will probably not send it, but I feel a whole lot better since venting.

Plus, the experience serves as a strong reminder to always ask the important question…”Do you have a Realtor?” prior to jumping in the car. (In this case, I’m actually pretty sure that I did ask, because I’ve been doing this a long time and have been burned in the past, but it’s possible that I forgot in the excitement of getting the call.)

Thanks everyone for your great comments and suggestions!

Kathy Wall
(415) 608-4168